Thursday, April 8, 2010

The Sport of Hunting

One of the most socially awkward and possibly painful experiences in this whole process of dating is the moment in which you've spotted that person across the party/bar/club etc and decided after a swift gulp of whatever drink you've been nursing throughout the night, that you're going to tap into that "liquid courage" you've just sucked down and approach that person. Ugh. Now, what we've been told is to wait until she/he has detached themselves from the "pack" think of a be-musingly witty  line and go in for the kill. Here's something to ponder....how many times has that ACTUALLY worked? Unless if it's a pretty simple, straight or even sensible line, every person who has been approached this way can see right through that rehearsed line and it doesn't make you look witty or charming...just awkward. So what works? There isn't a magic formula, but there are a few things that have. One of them is to NOT THINK ABOUT IT SO MUCH! If the person has gotten your attention, you've made eye contact, they've even smiled or given some kind of indication that they won't recoil in disgust if you approach them, then just approach them! But, be practical about it. The best way is with a simple, "hi, how's it going?" or something along those lines. You don't need to be that witty, wait until you're actually carrying on a conversation with this person before you show them how witty you really are. One way to think about it is to approach the person as if they are a friend of a friend's that you haven't met yet, but there is enough familiarity there that there shouldn't be any reason to be nervous. It will help keep the whole situation in perspective.
Guys: Don't try so hard that you end up coming on too strong or too awkward, it will turn the girl off and you've lost those few seconds that you have to make a good impression. Don't build it up too much in your head and you're not a Vegas entertainer, so lay off the cheesy lines.
Gals: Give the guy a break. If you see him noticing you across the bar and wouldn't mind having a conversation with him, don't close yourself off in your group of friends making it impossible for him to approach you. Also, keep in mind that it wasn't easy for him to make his way over to you and strike up a conversation out of thin air. Even if you're not that interested, give the guy a break and at least let him try. You never know, you might en up very pleasantly surprised.
Comments, suggestions? Let me know!
'Till next time!