The Sport of Hunting

One of the most socially awkward and possibly painful experiences in this whole process of dating is the moment in which you've spotted that person across the party/bar/club etc and decided after a swift gulp of whatever drink you've been nursing throughout the night, that you're going to tap into that "liquid courage" you've just sucked down and approach that person. Ugh. Now, what we've been told is to wait until she/he has detached themselves from the "pack" think of a be-musingly witty  line and go in for the kill. Here's something to ponder....how many times has that ACTUALLY worked? Unless if it's a pretty simple, straight or even sensible line, every person who has been approached this way can see right through that rehearsed line and it doesn't make you look witty or charming...just awkward. So what works? There isn't a magic formula, but there are a few things that have. One of them is to NOT THINK ABOUT IT SO MUCH! If the person has gotten your attention, you've made eye contact, they've even smiled or given some kind of indication that they won't recoil in disgust if you approach them, then just approach them! But, be practical about it. The best way is with a simple, "hi, how's it going?" or something along those lines. You don't need to be that witty, wait until you're actually carrying on a conversation with this person before you show them how witty you really are. One way to think about it is to approach the person as if they are a friend of a friend's that you haven't met yet, but there is enough familiarity there that there shouldn't be any reason to be nervous. It will help keep the whole situation in perspective.
Guys: Don't try so hard that you end up coming on too strong or too awkward, it will turn the girl off and you've lost those few seconds that you have to make a good impression. Don't build it up too much in your head and you're not a Vegas entertainer, so lay off the cheesy lines.
Gals: Give the guy a break. If you see him noticing you across the bar and wouldn't mind having a conversation with him, don't close yourself off in your group of friends making it impossible for him to approach you. Also, keep in mind that it wasn't easy for him to make his way over to you and strike up a conversation out of thin air. Even if you're not that interested, give the guy a break and at least let him try. You never know, you might en up very pleasantly surprised.
Comments, suggestions? Let me know!
'Till next time!

Introduction to Down with Dating

For decades both women and men have been told by self-help books, radio talk shows, magazine columns and dating "gurus" on how to act, what to say, what "rules" to follow and what mind games to play in order to land that perfect person; or at least the right person who's gonna be "so much different " than all the other people we've dated in the past. But the fact of the matter is, it's really not that complicated. It shouldn't be. Usually, that first instinct, that first feeling you get as fleeting as it may be, is usually the right one. We don't always want to listen to that feeling, so we try to over compensate in some way in order to prove that initial feeling wrong. Women over-analyze every word, every minutia of their interaction with that person to convince themselves that he really is head over heals with them. Men, will over-analyze in a different way. If the girl seems really into him he might over-analyze by thinking that " she's over eager, probably wants an insta-relationship and might be a 'clinger'." If he's really into her, he might over-analyze and think" if I show her how I feel right now, she might think I'm the dreaded "clinger" so better wait a few days, a week, etc. to contact her again."
Gals: if seems into you, he probably is. If he seems a little nonchalant or formal (almost business-like), then he's prob not. Trust your initial feeling.
Guys: If she seems really into you, unless if she's already making plans for the two of you for next week and the following and the following....she's not gonna be a clinger, she's just happy the date went well. If you're really into her, just f***' call her. Don't count the days before you think it's right time. Just. call. her. She'll love it. I promise.
Like I said: It's not that complicated. 
If you liked what I wrote or want to add your input or share your stories,  let me know! I'd love hear from you.
'Till next time.