There is nothing more resourceful then having a friendship with someone of the opposite sex that is purely platonic, but that you can use their mind to tap into the mysterious world of how the male or female mind functions. The subject that has very often been discussed ad-nausea is crossing the line between friends to "lovers." But, what about that other line that many of us have crossed? The less physically risky, but just as emotionally confounding. The line where in the absence of an actual relationship, you use your comfortable friendship with that person of the opposite sex to fill the relationship void. You end up having late night phone sessions, weekday movie nights in, sharing food off each other plates and finishing each others' sentences. You may even find your yourselves using the nauseating "we" reference when speaking to people. But, there is no sexual interaction between the two of you. It's purely platonic. This is not a good thing. Trust me. As comfortable and easy as it may be, it is not a real romantic relationship and you are selling yourselves short. When you replace a real relationship with a "pseudo relationship" you emotionally and psychologically shut yourself off to the possibility of a real one. You stop being aware of the people who are around you and people you meet, of potential relationships because you're already in "relationship" mode. but the thing is, YOU'RE NOT. You miss out on meeting potential partners because you've either mentally shut yourself down to that possibility, or you constantly giving off the impression to others that the two of you are in a relationship, thus eliminating your chances of meeting someone else. GUYS: You often fall into these situations with the hopes that you'll end up finally hooking up with the girl, or simply because actually working towards finding a real relationship can take way too much work and effort. If you're in that situation with a girl, the chances of you hooking up with her are slim. You've been boxed into the friend category and it'sunlikely she'll have an epiphany ad realize you're the man of her dreams ( that usually only happens in romantic comedies). Give the friendship some breathing room and spend a night out with the boys. You might actually find a great girl who doesn't just want to split a dessert with you and discuss the latest Resse Witherspoon Rom-Com over the phone. GALS:If you haven't had any strong feelings for him so far, what are the probabilities that you're suddenly going to realize he' s the one for you? Usually, you're telling him about the latest date you went on and how he held the door out for you. Stop torturing the poor guy. He likes your company, but if he's spending THAT much time with you and enduring that many snooze-worthy sappy movies, he's sending out signals that he's hoping for something more. So it's best to ween each other off of the whole BFF situation and give each other a chance to find a real relationship. Don't get me wrong peoples, opposite sex friendships are perfectly fine and fun to have, just don't use the friendship and the person to replace a void something that you know they cannot fill. It's unfair to both of you.
Comments, Suggestions ? Let me know!
'Till next time!
I am not a professional. I do not have a degree in psychology. But, I am a very keen observer. People are not that complicated. Women are not that complicated. Men are not that complicated. This blog will describe dating from a perspective of observing situations , personal experiences, and just human nature and try to bring a little insight and possible advice to this complicated thing called dating.
I'm the friend who's given advice and listened to advice about dating and felt that it was time speak up. Tired of stupid mind games, or rules. Just want to state the simple truth about people and how to socially interact with them.
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